Regarding ‘Energy Vampires’ - Here’s Why Downbeat Pals Can Benefit You Personally
Myself am hungry for advice from those regarding managing life’s midpoint hurdles, including deep inner questions, waning significance, noticing one’s neck like a Salvador Dalí clock and a newfound passion for A Place in the Sun. Most recently, I came across Jamie Oliver’s words about hitting fifty during a chat: “To thrive in life’s later stages, you must cut out distractions,” he explained. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”
At first, I pondered: isn’t this contradictory between “avoiding negative people” and “getting better at saying no”? Doesn’t that mean he has to avoid himself? I know – it’s exactly the kind of thing a mood hoover would say, and that’s because I am one. Although in our community we actually prefer the expression “energy vampire”. Please avoid “wet blanket” or “fun sponge” too – all this comparing us to utilitarian household items is offensive; we have feelings (albeit mainly negative ones). I’ll accept “downbeat cashmere throw”, at a pinch.
Maybe you belong to this group as well. Are you less the life and soul of the party and more its accountant or undertaker? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Do proposed “enjoyable” plans trigger a visage akin to having ingested something unpleasant? Do you see yourself in gloomy figures; has a spiritual reader mentioned your vibe is murky?
Should this ring true, welcome to the club, and it’s fine. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.
